Feb 15, 2009
The Everyday Disease
Monotony is a disease. It infects the average person's life in almost every way. It makes it hard to wake up in the morning, knowing you will be doing the same exact thing that you did the day before. It makes it hard to go to bed at night, knowing that you will just have to wake up in a few hours anyway. It is an evil circle of "sameness." *sigh*
Jan 6, 2009
One thing that I have come to realize while working at a place I am not legally allowed to name that begins with a "Babies", contains a backwards "R" and ends with an "Us," is that everyone has babies.
Ok, ok, duh. Thats a well known fact. Of course everyone has babies. But I mean everyone, black and white, red and yellow, brown, blue and green, everyone has babies. People from every position in life, social status and financial situation have kids. Everyone gets excited about welcoming a new member into their families and lives. Every pregnant woman's face has that "nesting" look that makes her glow. (even when they are pissed at you for the return policy that is obviously 100% completely of my choosing, not the corporate office's)
Ok, these are not life changing thoughts or anything close. But although I knew these things, I have finally come to really, truly know these things. And because I have been thinking about these things, the idea that anyone could or does discriminate because of a stupid thing like skin color or financial state or anything similar, is entirely impossible for my to wrap my brain around.
I have never been able to understand racism and discrimination. The concept of one person being somehow less than another simply because of physical characteristics is beyond me. And watching hundreds of different babies and parents that come in all shapes, sizes and colors, and yet seeing how they are all very similar at the same time, makes the idea of racism even more strange.
Unfortunately, just because I dont get it, doesnt mean that hundreds of people live and practice it. Racism is just one of the things this messed up world contains. I long for heaven and the unity we will all have when we simply exist to praise God together, forever.
~Scully~
Ok, ok, duh. Thats a well known fact. Of course everyone has babies. But I mean everyone, black and white, red and yellow, brown, blue and green, everyone has babies. People from every position in life, social status and financial situation have kids. Everyone gets excited about welcoming a new member into their families and lives. Every pregnant woman's face has that "nesting" look that makes her glow. (even when they are pissed at you for the return policy that is obviously 100% completely of my choosing, not the corporate office's)
Ok, these are not life changing thoughts or anything close. But although I knew these things, I have finally come to really, truly know these things. And because I have been thinking about these things, the idea that anyone could or does discriminate because of a stupid thing like skin color or financial state or anything similar, is entirely impossible for my to wrap my brain around.
I have never been able to understand racism and discrimination. The concept of one person being somehow less than another simply because of physical characteristics is beyond me. And watching hundreds of different babies and parents that come in all shapes, sizes and colors, and yet seeing how they are all very similar at the same time, makes the idea of racism even more strange.
Unfortunately, just because I dont get it, doesnt mean that hundreds of people live and practice it. Racism is just one of the things this messed up world contains. I long for heaven and the unity we will all have when we simply exist to praise God together, forever.
~Scully~
Dec 14, 2008
Aug 10, 2007
Good morning world.
I am sitting in my father's hospital room and thought I would update. ( I say that vainly, assuming people think this is worth reading) My dad fell at work about 2 weeks ago ( He works at the Georgetown Steel Mill) and cracked a couple of ribs. He was doing ok, without any major problems but then he started to swell up a whole lot. So, after a few days of being obstinate (typical) and refusing to go see the doctor, he decided on the 3rd that he would have to go do something about it either that night or that morning. They checked him into the Georgetown hospital and they told him it was his heart and he would have to have a catheterization done on his heart to see if they need to put another stint in (he already has 2) or something else. So, after a couple of days there, they sent him over to Charleston and he has been here for three days. He had his catheterization done yesterday, they went up through his leg and looked at his heart. But, they said that they didnt see anything except thinning arteries due to his diabetes. And so on and so forth. This is a lot longer than I thought. Anyway, he is fine, and we are hoping he can go home soon. (he will probably have to stay over the weekend though)
So that is what is going on in my life right now, may it soon be over.
Goodbye world.
I am sitting in my father's hospital room and thought I would update. ( I say that vainly, assuming people think this is worth reading) My dad fell at work about 2 weeks ago ( He works at the Georgetown Steel Mill) and cracked a couple of ribs. He was doing ok, without any major problems but then he started to swell up a whole lot. So, after a few days of being obstinate (typical) and refusing to go see the doctor, he decided on the 3rd that he would have to go do something about it either that night or that morning. They checked him into the Georgetown hospital and they told him it was his heart and he would have to have a catheterization done on his heart to see if they need to put another stint in (he already has 2) or something else. So, after a couple of days there, they sent him over to Charleston and he has been here for three days. He had his catheterization done yesterday, they went up through his leg and looked at his heart. But, they said that they didnt see anything except thinning arteries due to his diabetes. And so on and so forth. This is a lot longer than I thought. Anyway, he is fine, and we are hoping he can go home soon. (he will probably have to stay over the weekend though)
So that is what is going on in my life right now, may it soon be over.
Goodbye world.
Aug 2, 2007
Birthdays
Today is my last day of being a teenager.
Almost every year I cry on my birthday. Not because I feel like I am getting old, or I am afraid of change, but because I always look back on the things I have done or the person I once was and realize that I can never go back. I know it sounds absolutely petty and childish, but I have always hated losing the "old me." I am do not fear change, in fact I embrace it. But I know that I can never be the 13 year old girl, awkward, tall and friendless, or the 15 year old girl busy with music and church, always wrongly judging her older sister and being a listener for her mom. I also can never go back to the confident 17 year old that knows exactly what she wants out of life and is on the path to achieve it. I know that it is simply part of life to move on and to leave things behind, yet, I wish I could instead move on and take it all with me.
Almost every year I cry on my birthday. Not because I feel like I am getting old, or I am afraid of change, but because I always look back on the things I have done or the person I once was and realize that I can never go back. I know it sounds absolutely petty and childish, but I have always hated losing the "old me." I am do not fear change, in fact I embrace it. But I know that I can never be the 13 year old girl, awkward, tall and friendless, or the 15 year old girl busy with music and church, always wrongly judging her older sister and being a listener for her mom. I also can never go back to the confident 17 year old that knows exactly what she wants out of life and is on the path to achieve it. I know that it is simply part of life to move on and to leave things behind, yet, I wish I could instead move on and take it all with me.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
By Robert Frost
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
By Robert Frost
Jul 3, 2007
Home
I have been home since the 2 months that school got out, yet I feel as if I have already been here forever. Not in the sense that I am going crazy being home, but I feel as if I have already forgotten everything about what life at school is like. I am forgetting professors, classes, events, everything. Every time that I come home from school, whether for the weekend or a break, I always slide back into home life as if I never left. I always hear that it is hard to go back home after you have lived away for a while, but for me it is almost too easy. I fall back into the patterns and schedules of my siblings and parents without any friction. Is this weird?
May 3, 2007
Impatience Really?
There have been a few times in my life that I find myself watching a scene unfold in someone's life. I am part of the act, but somehow can still watch the story unwind. I watch as the main character gets mixed up and makes mistakes, but unlike most nice stories, they dont fix them. They keep making more and more mistakes, making the wrong choices and not doing what seems to me so plainly the right thing. I watch as they change, and then I watch as I grow impatient with them. I dont know if it is because they are being stupid, or if they cant see the truth as plainly as I see it. I can take a peek to the end of the story, and see that the main character is going to hit a bad ending unless they stop what they change their direction right now. But, I can also see that they are not going to change, they are going to head right into that bad mess. I watch, but I cannot change it. I know the end, but nothing I can say will change the endind or warn the main character. So I simply sit back and watch the story. Shaking my head. Impatient? Really? Or something else?
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