I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions by so many people for so many reasons. I feel incomplete as it is, as if I have a gap in my being. With a hole, when it is pulled it just tears and rips, leaving a bigger gap. Please, stop pulling. I dont need more wounds

Crutch

I feel like I am being used by people, but not in the sense of being weak. I feel like because I am strong and dependable to some people, they do not do anything for themselves any more. I am a crutch. A pill they pop at morning, noon and night to make themselves feel better, which isnt necessarily bad, but some people are addicted to me. Can you not live without me? I am not the best thing to rely on at all, just because I can put on a face of togetherness, doesnt mean I have the guts to match. Just because I give support does not mean people cannot use their own two legs. Get off of me, and go walk by yourself.

Clarity

I can see the clearest when there are tears in my eyes.

While the physical world swirls and dims with my clouded vision, the world that I cannot see slowly fades into focus.

Despite the frown of my mouth here, in the other world I smile.

Because, for once, I can see...

Love

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."
Deuteronomy 6:5

How can I love you will all of something that is in pieces?

How can I love you with something that is despairing?

How can I love you with something that isn't even there?



Repair my heart

Uplift my soul

Revive my strength

I deleted my last post.

I have found that I am always curious but care little about other peoples opinions of me. I may honestly and truly not care whether someone likes me or thinks well of me or not, but I still just want to know. It like wanting to watch a stupid movie, I know it isnt good, but I still want to watch.

..................

I got to see my *niece* this weekend. She is so cute! So I am now an aunt twice! (only once officially, but emotionally twice)